First time in Aidilfitri 1431H

EVERYTHING seems to be a `first time' for us in this year Aidilfitri celebration.

 (Yasmin, my niece, admiring the LED lights...)

We celebrated raya without two of our brothers - my youngest, who has to work in Sabah, as a policeman, and another, who has just passed away on July 2nd.

It was our first oddly raya... :P

Raya celebration ran quite moderate today, anything else, it was full of rest and relax... :) 

Selamat Hari Raya to all the muslim readers.

Maaf zahir dan batin...

click to watch slide show below:

Ramadhan 1431H

(image source: www.ramadan-wallpaper.com)

RAMADHAN has arrived…

As the third Pillars of Islam, ritual fasting is an obligatory act during the month of Ramadan. Muslims must abstain from food, drink, and sexual intercourse from dawn to dusk during this month, and are to be especially mindful of other sins. Fasting is necessary on every Muslim who's age is more than 11.

The fast is meant to allow Muslims to seek nearness to God, to express their gratitude to and dependence on him, atone for their past sins, and to remind them of the needy. During Ramadan, Muslims are also expected to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam by refraining from violence, anger, envy, greed, lust, profane language, gossip and to try to get along with fellow Muslims better. In addition, all obscene and irreligious sights and sounds are to be avoided.

(ehehe my typical lazy days on the Ramadhan afternoon…)

And this Ramadhan will be our first without my dear brother,..

Before this, when both of us went to Bazaar Ramadhan for some prepared delicacies for the fast-braking, we often shares the cost that both of us has purchased, though it always be “I-point-you-pay” attitude.

This year there will be no one else to share the cost. This time it is all left to me to purchase them, at my own perusal. Alahai…

Breaking fast together with my family today seems quieter than the previous years… We just sat together, recite the doa, and then ate whatever that have been prepared before us. Nobody tried to mention anything, since we are trying to avoid any conversation that will tied to my late brother.

You know, each time my late brother’s name popped-up, my mum will get a little emotional (and tears), and personally, I hate that mood-spoiler thing…

Yes, I do miss my brother, but I also have come to realise that life must goes on, with or without him...

To all readers of this blog: “Selamat Berpuasa, dan tambahkan pahala tu…”

Goodbye (RIP my Dear Brother)

YESTERDAY afternoon (Friday, June 2nd), I receive a phone call from Jamil, my first younger brother, urging me to rush to the ICU pronto, I was in the middle of a busy day in the office. Instinctively, after texting sms to Shahgul and Hanif, telling them that I am unable to fetch them at the wharf, I drove straight to the hospital.

“This is it,” my mind wandered as I drove.

A night before, around 0100, I stayed with him until my eyes can’t take it no more. Tiredness do demand a respect from us to get a rest. My mom was next to him reciting Yassin while atuk (grandpa) teaching him the Shahadah. Nothing much I can do on that night, beside holding his cold hand, and reciting al-Fatihah. The doctor has permitted us to enter the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), even though it was way after visiting hour. A CPR was preformed on him 5 minutes earlier, as he had a cardiac arrest.

“This is it,” my mind drifted again, as I walked through the walkway leading to the ICU. The walkway seemed quieter than usual as I passed by some people who are waiting for their own family member. Mentally, I have prepared for this – or at least I thought so… Their eyes, glancing at me, look different today…

The inevitable has occurred. A final visit to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU), Sibu Hospital, yesterday afternoon would be the last time we stepped our feet into that place... I saw Jamil broke in tears while waving for me. He broke the news to me, Johan, my second brother, has finally passed away. I was only 5 minutes too late…

I did not cry… Keeping my calm, after a brief al-fatihah recital, I hold my late brother’s arm, stroking his hair a little and gave a kiss on his forehead, then excusing myself to send few sms to Shahgul, Hanif, my towkey-nyior and my Facebook status.

My brother was admitted into the ICU for 32 days since May 30th and was treated for mycoplasma encephalitis, a type of a brain infection. Since then, he was also treated for Catheter Associated Pneumonia and liver impairment.

Yes, I did not cry,.. yet. But it was not easy. Nobody said it was.

The hardest part is how to break the news to abah (dad). With abah’s own weak condition, I reminded all the family members not to inform abah just yet,.. After a few discussion, Jamil and I will confront abah about the news, with neighbors to calm him.

Abah nearly fainted when we informed him. Before this, we never told abah about Johan’s real condition, only that he is stable and able to smile when mom cracked up some jokes and celebrated his 29th birthday on June 27th.

But abah fainted twice when the body has reached home at around 1600… Everybody was still in shock. Johan exhibits some good progress on the 10th to 30th days in ICU. Still unable to speak, he was able to blink his eyes and move some fingers. But it became deteriorate after the doctor performed tracheotomy on him. Fever also caught-up with him throughout his stay in there.

When the body was laid to the floor, and to be prepared for bathing and shrouding, I secretly went up alone to my room.

A silent burst of tears finally flowed along my cheeks.

I cried… I did cry…

Johan… my brother’s body was laid to rest this morning (next day) at around 1030 in a gloomy yet peaceful day.

Me and my family wish to convey gratitude to all the family members and friends who has showed their support (physically or morally) to us…

(Jutaan terima kasih dan pernghargaan kepada sanak saudara dan rakan taulan yang memberi sokongan dalam mengharungi musibah ini. Mohon halal dan ampunkan segala kesalahan, andai ada, arwah adik saya sepanjang perkenalan anda dengan dia… Andai ada apa-apa yang terhutang, sila hubungi saya sekeluarga dengan seberapa segera…)

Al-Fatihah… Rest in Peace, my dear brother…

Aidil Adha 2009 (10 Zulhijjah 1430H)

HARI Raya Haji, or the "pilgrimage festival", marks the end of a Muslim's pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia. Also known as the Festival of Sacrifice, it commemorates Prophet Ibrahim's willingness to sacrifice his son Ismail in an act of obedience to God.

This year is a special year for my family, because we decided to sacrifice a bull. A first timer indeed…

The bull arrived two nights ago, earlier than expected, which forced us to tied the bull in the courtyard of the village's surau. And I have to attend the bull.

It was a nerve wrecking moment to be face to face with the cow. But in the end, I grew fond of him. isk isk isk

And our short encounter does taught me the meaning of sacrifice…

Salam Hari Raya Aidil Adha for all the muslim readers. Biar berkorban, jangan terkorban semasa raya… Hati-hati di jalan raya.

I Hate those Video

MAYBE the scooter was not fast enough, or maybe the 24 wheelers lorry (at least) was too fast...

I know what will happened to me if I decided to watch the video. I know what will I see if my thumb press the play button.

Thinking of it, the gruesome videos of any post-mortem being done on a body does not affected me much, nor the graphical scene of any aftermath of an ill-fated accident. Any ghost related video does not affected me at all.

Having an experienced as a Medical Laboratory Technician trainee indeed prepared my for the worse. Even doing my own revision alone in the University Hospital Medical Museum is a blissful moment for me. Those was the my precious yet wasted years...

I remembered the first time I watched any bloody horror flick. Hellbound Hellraiser series demanded my respect for originality. Faces of Death almost makes me puked. Final Destinations (FD) I, II and III are cool for me, though I did not watched IV. Freddy was a joke for me. Cannibal Holocaust? Naah...

When I was 18 years old, while waiting for my turn for pre-university compulsory medical check-up in the Hospital Emergency Unit in Alor Star (my uncle pulled some magical string so that I can have my test being done there), I saw a scene where a young 12 years old boy being carried out by an unknown person out of a red Datsun, just at the entrance. The boy and his mother was standing at the corner of a wall of a bus terminal before being hit by a passing bus. I saw a big tear on his right thigh, almost a someone has zipped open his skin from top to bottom, revealing the flesh and bone. I was okay watching the scene at the moment, until after my mind kept rewinding them over and over again. Sensing that I might faint, I quickly sat on a chair and lowered my head and took a heavy breath.

The video.

I hate those video, but I keep watching them.

(Warning: Reader discretion is strongly advised for the following description)
The scene was a busy mid-day four-lane highway. The scooter was trying to take the left lane. The lorry was just a few feet behind him. Maybe the scooter was not fast enough, or maybe the wheeler was too fast. Just in an instant, the front-right side of the lorry hit the ill-fated scooter. The scooter lost its balance. In instant, the rider fall to the right and just as he touches the tar, the left front tyre of the lorry hit him, mostly at his hip. He never knew what hit him. Just as he rolled over, once, the second set of the left tyres hit him. This time those double/twin tyres hit his abdomen, exactly at his stomach areas. This time, even for a millisecond, his face was facing toward the lorry. Maybe this time he had a chance to see what hit him.

Moment later, a burst of blood can be seen, splattered on the road as if you punctured a tight water-filled balloon. Moment later, my heart was pounding hard. The rider was split into halves...

***

I watched this video over my friend's hand phone three nights ago. I watched it twice. And even until now the scene keeps repeating in my mind. It is not the aftermath that affected me much but watching the process, the event, the how the fatal accident flashing in my eyes that bothered me. Since then, I felt very uneasy when riding a motorbike, thinking the every day risk we take.

Family

BELOW is the latest advertisement by Yasmin Ahmad commisioned by the Singapore's Think Family campaign.

Isk, this short video might brings tears to our life.

Adopt a Miracle!

SAD and anger filled my heart tonight watching the cruelty of some DBKL workers to the stray animals they caught. It was aired last night by TV3 through 360 degree programme. "To put to Sleep" is to kill the animal humanely, perferebably by injection, not by strangling/breaking the dog's neck nor by drowning the cats.

BABI la org kejam nie!

Just goggle for [DBKL animal cruelty} and you will know what I am talking about, not to mention other animal pound in Malaysia.

(Title post inspired by the ad by Yasmin Yusof)

What a Start!

WHAT a way it was to start the new year.

What a way to celebrate the most celebrated day in the world... - painting my house. Isk. Enough said, no need to explain further.

This year, the celebration in Sibu was not as happening as it used to be, thanks to the rainy season that we are having nowadays. Even now, the rain, started at 0800 this morning, still poured heavily. I celebrated the coming of the year at the express jetty, with some of my members. It was an amusing site to watch the tankers and express boats sounded their air-horn all together. They even shot their emergency flares to the sky just for the occasion. I can only see bright reds in the sky.

I lost a dear friend at the beginning of this year. Still, the news and the details of the accident still lingered in the office and JPJ. I saw the ill-fated Kancil at the Puspakom. Most of the runners still cannot believed what have happened. The stench of blood still can be felt if you stand close to the vehicle.

Almost drop to tears seeing the biscuits still in good condition. Heard that they purchased them on the way back. Blood stain are still visible.

Supian was on the passenger seat. Nobody can be still alive in this position.

The ill-fated Kancil

Ajal dan maut ditentukan Allah. Terimalah dengar redha. (Death is destined by Allah. Accept it with your heart)

I am now hooked in facebook. Meeting a lot af my past school mate. Most of them are married already. And the fact that their keep teasing me for still single is another topic of it's own. I use my real name there. Had to!

Other and that, nothing much happens in my life. Secebis Harapan, sung by Nora still playing in my mind, a reminder of hope for me of the challenges lies ahead...



Happy (belated) New Year, guys.

Berhati-hati di jalan raya. Please, I don't want to loose any more friend this way!

Takziah (Condolence)

"Happy new year kawan. moga tahun baru akan beri lebih heng dan ong supaya lebih untung. Peace n as'kum."

(Happy New Year, buddy. May the new year gives you more heng and ong so you can get more prosperity. Peace upon you.)

IT must be him. I got this sms on the eve of new year. It must be...

A day earlier, I had a sudden cold-war with him. He used to greet me whenever we bumped into each other. But that morning, he just ignored me, talking with his clients and the JPJ's officers. He even dared to come to my office on the evening and and had a conversation with my towkey and towkey-nyior. Business disscussion, I presumed. I knew so well that he tended to treat the towkeys or officer better than the runners. So typical of a car salesman.

Disgusted, I merely walked away from the office that evening without spoking to him. He did the same as well. After 10 minutes later, when I came back to the office, he was still there, ignoring me. Reluctanly, I skimmed through the documents which he brought together, just for the sake of my opinion. Nothing wrong with them. I just said the documents was okay to proceed. Ten minutes passed by in the office with him around, ignoring me, was like a life-time of hell.

So, to avoid further unnecessary conflict, I walked away from the office again - this time for a quite some time. And that was the last time I saw him.

Receiving this sms, an unknown DiGi number, I knew it was from him. He has so many phone numbers, but the obvious gave-away was the double digits tendencies and the way he text me, every single style in this sms. Azlan, a runner from different company, also agreed that this sms must be from him. It must be...

Arriving late this morning to JPJ, Azlan approached me and delivered the news...

"Ada ko nengar pasal Supian?" (Have you heard about Supian?)

"Sekda ko. Pasal?" (Nope? What's up?)

"Supian ninggal marek. Eksiden di Bintulu." (Supian passed-away yesterday. Accident in Bintulu)

It must be from him. It must be...

*****

Deepest sympathy and condolence for the friends and family of the late Supian. He has done no harm nor wrong, whatsoever, to me during our three years of friendship.
Al-Fatihah...

Couriosity Kills!

COURIOSITY kills the cat!

Unusual Deaths in 1975

• On 24 march 1975 alex mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from king's lynn literally died laughing while watching an episode of the goodies. according to his wife, who was a witness, mitchell was unable to stop laughing while watching a sketch in the episode "kung fu kapers" in which tim brooke-taylor, dressed as a kilted scotsman, used a set of bagpipes to defend himself from a psychopathic black pudding in a demonstration of the scottish martial art of "hoots-toot-ochaye." after twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter mitchell finally slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure.

Natural disasters in 1975

• Canton, Illinois Tornado of 1975
• Great Storm of 1975
• Omaha Tornado of 1975

People who died on June 24 (various years)

• 2007 - Natasja Saad, Danish reggae and dancehall artist
• 2007 - Derek Dougan, Northern Irish footballer
• 2007 - Chris Benoit, Canadian professional wrestler
• 2007 - Byron Baer, American politician
• 2006 - Patsy Ramsey, mother of JonBenét Ramsey
• 2005 - Hakham Yedidia Shofet, Former chief rabbi of Iran
• 2005 - Paul Winchell, American voice actor and ventriloquist
• 2004 - Ifigeneia Giannopoulou, Greek songwriter
• 2003 - Vladimir Garin, Russian actor
• 2002 - Pierre Werner, Prime Minister of Luxembourg
• 2000 - David Tomlinson, English actor
• 2000 - Vera Atkins, Romanian-born British intelligence officer
• 1997 - Brian Keith, American actor
• 1997 - Don Hutson, American athlete
• 1993 - Archie Williams, American athlete
• 1991 - Rufino Tamayo, Mexican painter.
• 1987 - Jackie Gleason, American actor and musician
• 1984 - Clarence Campbell, Canadian NHL president
• 1978 - Robert Charroux, French writer
• 1977 - André-Gilles Fortin, French Canadian politician
• 1968 - Tony Hancock, British comedian
• 1947 - Emil Seidel, Mayor of Milwaukee, Wisconsin
• 1935 - Carlos Gardel, Argentine singer (airplane crash)
• 1922 - Walther Rathenau, German Minister of Foreign Affairs (assassinated)
• 1909 - Sarah Orne Jewett, American writer
• 1908 - Grover Cleveland, President of the United States (heart failure)
• 1894 - Marie François Sadi Carnot, French statesman
• 1835 - Andreas Vokos Miaoulis, Greek admiral and politician, commander of Greek naval forces in Greek War of Independence
• 1817 - Thomas McKean, American lawyer and signer of the Declaration of Independence
• 1803 - Matthew Thornton, American signer of the Declaration of Independence
• 1778 - Pieter Burmann the Younger, Dutch philologist
• 1766 - Adrien-Maurice, 3rd duc de Noailles, French soldier
• 1643 - John Hampden, English politician
• 1637 - Nicolas-Claude Fabri de Peiresc, French astronomer
• 1604 - Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, Lord Great Chamberlain of England
• 1520 - Hosokawa Sumimoto, Japanese samurai commander
• 1519 - Lucrezia Borgia, Duchess of Ferrara
• 1439 - Duke Frederick IV of Austria
• 1398 - Hongwu Emperor of China
• 803 - Higbald of Lindisfarne