Dalam doa ku (In my prays)
Ku sebut nama mu (I've mentioned your name)
tenanglah dikau (May you rest in peace)
Sayang ku (My love)
TWO things indicate weakness - to be silent when it is proper to speak, and to speak when it is proper to be silent...
FROM the setting of the sun earlier today (December 17th), Muslim around the world celebrated the new year 1431H in the Islamic calendar.
In this part of the region, it is known as Maal Hijrah or Awal Muharam. and it is a public holiday! ehehehe
It signified the emigration (or hijriah in Arabic) of the prophet Muhammad (peace upon him) from Mecca to Medina in 622 AC. It is also symbolize our journey or migration from bad to good, in any condition or event.
Salam 1431 Hijrah for all readers… May this year give more meaning to our lives…
further reading:
I still remembered my first long distance relationship (LDR) which started around 9 to 10 years ago.
It started with a cordial chat, through mIRC, with a person who are from the land which formerly known as Temasek. “Pelangi Petang”, sung by the late Sudirman Haji Arshad, brought back the memories. Mind you, even our LDR did not last long, but it is long enough for me to understand the meaning of love, kindness, patience and despair. Not forgetting the experience of having a person occupying your heart throughout the ordeal.
After that, my love life wandered like the small soap bubbles in the sink – circling into the vortex which eventually will be drained out through that darn pipe. Having a network of close friends during those years somewhat occupy the void feeling I had then.
Through this, I would like to send a thousand loves and kisses to my friends from Bigboyz (formerly known as MyChub). Without the emotional supports from you guys, my world will be as dark and lonely as I would ever imagined.
Life goes on…
I followed my heart which landed me back to the Land of the Hornbills. If not, this would be my second LDR. The life pace here is totally the opposite of what I had back in KL. But I was determined, committed with what I have chose and was happy of it. Period.
Until,… something, somewhere, the relationship started to aged over time. We became duller and further apart. And it ended with a reminder that no matter how you chose or took to sustain a relationship, LDR or non-LDR, you are and always be an outsider in other’s family’s niche.
We finally parted with a mutual agreement. Though we are not together anymore, there is still a bond which reminded who we are before and after a long relationship.
Second stage…
I am back to my hometown, and prepared for any circumstances that comes along the way. Or it was my first thought… Getting laid here is rather easy. Hik. But getting someone to fill your heart is a challenge.
And as a single happy-go-lucky person in this town, I cannot avoid of the love-hate lonely feeling that keep haunting me all these time…
I started from a scratch here,.. and (maybe) I have met someone… and it is another LDR all over again…
Arghhhhhh!
WENT for an interview yesterday for a post as a clerk in the government sector. Being trying my luck all these years, but sadly, I guess, the probability for me to be a civil servant is rather slim.
People said that by working in a private sector, you have better career and salary compared to those in governments. Well, that is partly true.
TRUE if you are in a group of higher qualifications and are working in a big company. FALSE if you fall in the rest of the other group. Isk, isk, isk… I’m talking about the private workers here… The situation might be different if you are working in your own company.
However, considering the economical crisis we are bracing, landing a job is considered lucky.
I like my current job if you wonder (or not). There is a job satisfaction in the field I am currently ventured in. Though in a long run, I am stuck with what I am having right now. I need to consider what will becomes of me in 5 years time. No need the think further than that, if the first one is quite pathetic.
Might be this is a curse for not studying well (or using the opportunity) during my college years. No need to regret what have passed. And no need to be arrogant of what I have achieved (or not) for the so called ‘alternative blunders’ I took years back.
This is me.
I took a wrong path somewhere in my earlier life.
This is me.
I failed to make use the opportunity that were given to me during that day. Probably the unlucky ones would curse if they knew the gift was wasted on me.
This is me.
I will never let the past mistakes that I have done as an excuse for me to be a failure.
***
And for that, no matter what people said, as one of my weakness is “fail to acknowledge no as a definite answer”, I will keep trying, without any regrets, to do my best in any arrears I am in, and keep pursuing my realistic goals.
Realistic goals? Heh, now I am babbling…
***
If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived.
Now I have to wait for at least 3 months if my interview yield any result.
Sorry for an anti-climax conclusion… ehehehe
